SIMPLICITY PARENTING

by Kim John Payne
with Lisa Ross

The subtitle for Simplicity Parenting is “Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Nurture Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids,” and that is exactly what it delivers. Payne provides a toolbox of ideas, anecdotes and observations about why so many kids today are experiencing such high stress and anxiety, and how we might go about fixing it.

Payne has been a therapist in places as disparate as war-torn Cambodia and the Upper East Side of Manhattan. But somehow his vast experience has led him to the conclusion that what kids need more of is simplicity: fewer choices and more routine, less stuff and more unscheduled time. He seems to be aiming his advice mostly at parents who may be having behavioral issues with their child or are looking to reconnect as a family. But even as the mother of a pretty chill 19-month-old, I found many ideas that I hope to implement now and as our family grows.

What I really appreciate in Payne’s writing is not just that he always seems to be offering rather than prescribing, but also that he makes clear the psychological and developmental root of his ideas. Rather than just say kids should have fewer toys, he describes how having too many choices can affect a child’s enjoyment and actually delay or stunt their imaginative play. He also has wonderful suggestions for the types of toys that foster development.

I think what resonated most with me was the overall motivation to keep childhood simple for our children, because that’s what they need to grow and develop into their own personhood. It’s a fascinating read and I recommend it to anyone who might be trying to gather ideas about what parenthood and family could look like for them. (Lily)