THE IN-BETWEEN

by Hadley Vlahos, RN

I so appreciate my friend Ellen recommending that I read this completely captivating, non-fiction book about “unforgettable encounters during life’s final moments” (book’s subtitle). I don’t think it’s a book I would have picked up on my own, but it is an amazing read.

Vlahos begins the book by describing her path to becoming a hospice nurse while still in her twenties – an interesting and unusual story.  Never overbearing or strident in tone, Vlahos goes on to share that dying people often have experiences for which medicine has no explanation.  And that, “in between here and whatever comes next, there is something powerful and peaceful” (p. xv). After describing her motivation behind writing the book, Vlahos devotes a short chapter to each of 12 of her hospice patients and the surprising lessons each person taught her about death and dying.  From seeing long-dead, loved ones in the room with them to choosing one’s own time of death, to predicting car crashes and house fires, these stories are fascinating.

In the end, though, I feel what really makes this book memorable is the combination of the author’s clear prose, together with her unconventional assertions about how we die.  Since I am currently in the throes of watching my mother’s rapid descent into Alzheimer’s disease, I was particularly struck by Vlahos’ comments on that. “My experience with Edith made me think about Alzheimer’s patients differently from that point on.  It’s easy to focus on the fact that, in so many ways, they don’t seem to be here anymore.  But what we don’t think about as often is:  Where are they?  I often refer to my patients as having one foot on this side and one on the other.  But I now suspect – although I obviously can’t prove – that while they’re still physically here, beyond a certain point Alzheimer’s patients are more firmly planted in whatever place we go next, on the other side” (p. 133). This is a book you should not miss.  (Liz)